After losing our baby due to a miscarriage in March. It has taken some time for me to feel completely ready for the idea of becoming pregnant again. Allen was ready right away. Not that he didn't morn the loss of our child. He just felt content in Gods decision.
This happened to my body, with that being said it just took more time for me. To tell you the truth I didn't know what was holding me back. I remember telling Allen I think once the due date comes and goes I will then feel ready. I was due this October. Then as we talked that evening I realized I was scared to ever feel the pain of miscarriage again. Why was I holding on to this fear? I trust God with my life and all of my decisions. Why and how do I comfort this anxiety in me. Prayer. I prayed and prayed for peace and understanding. Without knowing it Allen was praying for me as well. Today I can say I do not have the feeling or need to control this. Its completely in his hands as is our tiny baby Joseph . The children named him. I think it made us all feel more at peace. The realization is that our baby was not lost but taken to stay in the arms of Christ and one day we will be together again.
Allen and I are now ready for a baby. If its Gods plan for us then it will happen and we will be overjoyed.
Some may say and have even said. Why would you want another baby? You already are running out of room and you are living as simple as you can to be comfortable financially? With past pregnancies people have been as far as just being rude. Saying comments of Are you crazy? Don't you know what causes that? You already have 3 children! Are you ever going to stop having them. My answer to them is this. We love children. We adore being parents. Its what we were made to do. Its what God wants for our family. As I have said before even as a child I had dreams of a large family and in our home the beautiful gift of life running through it. Our children do not go without and in many ways they have more gifts then most because of our love, time and teachings we give to them.
Even through the rude comments we did have many joyful congratulations as well and didn't let the rude words of others put a damper on our excitement.
Please pray if this is Gods will for our family, that we do conceive and have a healthy pregnancy and infant. ~Catherine
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27 comments:
I will be praying for you. I don't know the pain of a miscarriage. I can't imagine what that feels like. I have dealt with the pain of not being able to have more, and that I chose that. I prayed so much about it, and now look at how our family has been blessed. As I know your family will be blessed...b/c the Lord knows your heart, and has big plans for your family. As painful as your loss was, you will be blessed many times over b/c of your faithfulness through it all. I know that.
When Talan was in the hospital, I was talking with a nurse who told me she had 6 children. Wow...she was the only one during all that time that didn't say "oh you have your hands full" or "I couldn't do that". She just smiled, talking about what a blessing they all are, no matter how they come into our family. I was talking about how ugly people can be...making us feel bad for having large families, and she said, "we just need to forgive them, and pray for them." Wow...I had never thought about it that way, just that I felt I needed to be defensive for choosing to have a large family. She then said, "some people just don't realize what blessings children are". Sorry to get off on all that...but it left such a big impression on me.
Sorry this is so longwinded....I will be praying for you, and for your family as you continue to heal...and praying that you will have a new blessing on the way soon!
Thank you Maury! All of your words ment so much to me. This is a wonderful way to deal with rude comments. Thank you for making me think of this! It also made me get a little tearing reading your words of blessings from our faithfullness!
I can't say that I've personally experienced this pain. But as I know YOU know, too, God is the comforter. He is the giver of grace, love, and mercy. He knows your thoughts, desires, and needs. He will continue to bless your family.
Diana
Diana- Thank you so much for your kind words! Even when we know sometimes its nice to be reminded.
Catherine,
You have been in my thoughts and prayers! I have experience 2 miscarraiges, one at 4 months and 1being just a few weeks along the year before Sara was born. It is heartbreaking. But I knew that God would wrap His arms around me and comfort me and remind me that they are ALL His children....only with us for a short time!! Joseph is such a beautiful name!! That's what our youngest is named. And I know that when you are ready, God will bless you with however many children He thinks you need.
I have heard rude comments about how many children I have. I just say to myself that only I can make those rude comments. And no matter how much my children drive me crazy (my mom says they are here to drive us crazy because that is their job), I love them each equally and would never trade them for anything. I think of them each as a blessing.....I was done having children after 3 but God had other plans!! And I'm glad He did or the last 2 would not be here.
Just remember that God is in control!!! And remember that you can always find truth in the red words that He said!! Love ya girl!!
I will be praying for you and Allen. I know how hard it is to overcome something like that. You have a happy, loving family and I wish you the best of everthing. I am glad you dont let the "rudeness" of others get to you! Let me know how things go! You have a beautiful family Catherine!
Im so sorry for your loss it is heartbreaking. Im happy you found peace in him. Thank you so much for your words! I feel blessed to have your friendship! I am also thankful to be in your prayers. I knew I could feel the prayers being said for our family. We needed them. Thank you so very much. Your Joseph is such a doll! You have a beautiful family and God knew what he was doing as he always does. You make a wonderful mommy of a large family! Love you too Catherine
Thank you all and yes we will update as time goes one!
Praying for you and your family. I can't imagine the pain of losing a pregnancy, but I know that God is faithful! Praying that your dreams of a large family come to fruition! You're right, children are a blessing. I only have one, but he has blessed us beyond belief!!
Thank you TeamOSM! Dont they just change your life! God is so good!
You make me cry- Tasha
Beautiful- Trey
Thank you guys so much!
Tasha I love you:)
The pain of a miscarriage is hard to recover from, but you ar so right in that it is all in God's hands. After suffering two myself, I look at my beautiful gfit from above now & am totally amazed...and thankful. However, you never really stop thinking about the other. I pray for peace for all of us affected by miscarriage. I know god has a plan and that faith is what always helps me believe, live each day and be thankful for the blessings he has bestowed upon me and my family. I love your blog Catherine! Thanks for another godly voice out there!
Anonymous- THANK YOU! What beautiful kind words! Im so sorry for the pain you have gone through. How awesome it is you know this is Gods gift for you. I view this as Gods Cross and I belive he only gives these crosses to the ones the loves very much and wants to build even a stronger bond with. We do this with trust and understanding. Thanks agian for stopping by. Blessings in him- Catherine
you said it very well, I love you so much and am proud to be your husband livin our love song -Allen
I love you guys....I can't wait till you have another little one running around amongst us. He or she will be just as loved as all the others:) God will help you through anything...and whatever happens, happens for a reason. He will never leave us.
"The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace. Psalm 29:11
Allen Thank you! You have got me smiling! I love you and am so happy to be your wife:) I thank God for you:)
Liz- Love you too so much~ You always remind me of his word! Love you Catherine
OH huge hugs to you. I can understand wanting to wait until your due date is past before wanting to get preggo again, and I will be hoping for you guys to be successful this time around, when you are both ready. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thanks for stopping by my blog!It was fun reading through yours!
Thnak you so much and thank you for following!
Thnak you so much and thank you for following!
You know that I would love to see you add a new member to your beautiful family! And I believe the world deserves to be graced with the children you raise. :-)
That being said, I pray peace and contentment for you, for whatever God has planned for your family.
Thank you Paula! I love you and feel blessed to have you as such a dear friend. As you have said and I say too how I love having my like minded friends
Thank you for visiting my blog. Of course, I had to come visit you too :) First of all, I'm so very sorry for the loss you've experienced. Isn't it crazy? the things people will say when they really don't know the right thing to say. How much better it would be if we could all learn that sometimes people who are mourning are comforted most by a friend's presence, without words. I too will be praying for you and your husband.
This "how many children should we have?" has been a hot topic among my younger friends. I truly believe children are a blessing !! from the LORD -- says so in The book :) In no other area of our lives would any of us say to the LORD "No thanks, no more blessings for me. I have all I can handle." Also, having had three children - now ages 35, 29 and 28 -- and having had a wonderful and fun and love-filled life with them, the one thing I regret most is that my husband and I thought we knew better than God and ended our fertility. Something I grieved over for many years. If I could go back and have a re-do, I'd have several more. Totally worth all the sacrifices you make. I truly believe the Lord will provide ALL you need when you are following Him.
Oh gosh -- hope that wasn't "preachy". I am just passionate about this issue, I guess.
Love your blog. Beautiful, beautiful family you have. Blessings on you --
Gwyn Rosser
gwynrosser.blogspot.com
The Pink Tractor
Beautiful words, This post gave me chills. Thank you so much. I feel your words and understand what you are telling me. Not preachy at all. Passionate. We all should be Passionte when it comes to God and his gifts for us. What a wonderful way to view this. Thank you
I am a Catholic Mom to 5 children, aged 18 to 5 that are living. I had 2 miscarriages in between the 2nd and 3rd children. We did have another child soon after those miscarriages. Today, I look at my gold of heart, beautiful 16 year old daughter, knowing that, if I did not have that miscarriage, she would not be here. My 13 year old son, who is full of goodness and kindness, would not be here either unless I had that miscarriage. I look forward to meeting my miscarried children in Heaven, but it a odd way, they Bless my life every single moment having my other children. I am so sorry for your loss. It is a sad time but time does heal. I pray that God will Bless you with more children soon. Blessings.
Thank you Faithfulmom2! You have a beautiful story! Thank you for your words!
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